Thursday, October 15, 2009

Going Solo

I feel that I waste a lot of God's time. 

He has more important things to do than listen to me go through my small challenges. There are tsunami victims, the bereaved, families facing catastrophic illness, couples struggling with infertility, those who are in abusive situations. Going through a divorce seems fairly minor compared to all that, so I decide that I can handle it on my own.

"Thanks, anyway, God," I say. "I'll take care of this one. You go on to your meeting about African famine. I'll be okay."

But I'm not okay. I fall. I over-everything. Overeat. Overspend. Overdrink. Overanalyze. I make things even worse than they already were. I come crawling back to Him, and He just shakes his head knowingly as He lifts me in His arms.

I go through this spiral again and again, each time forgetting that there is nothing I can do to be worthy of His love. That's sort of the whole point of grace, isn't it? God doesn't use a human tally sheet to determine whether my problems are less than or more than someone else's. He knows that the burdens I carry are meant to bring me in closer relationship to Him.

The depth of His love is something so beyond my comprehension. I turn to Him more and more now, praising Him for blanketing me with mercy. One day, I hope to mature into my vulnerability.



CatQuilter said...

No problem, no matter how small or insigificant it seems to us, escapes God's notice. Don't think for one minute that He's too busy to help or listen. He cares for everybody and everything in this world.

God may work through others in your life, so lean on us!

Love you loads,

Linda said...

I love the name of your new Blog! Sometimes our faith is all we have to hold onto! Allow God to wrap his arms around you and hold you!
Find a copy of the poem, "Footprints" and believe that it is you he is carrying!

Know that I am here anytime you someone to remind you that you are important to God and that he loves you!